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Hence, I write and coach about what "should" be obvious. In most cases, the issue was simply a matter of chemistry, or lack thereof. I have also felt attracted to someone, only to be told after he "disappeared" that he had found a connection with someone else.

On a recent date, I decided to have some fun and ask the man I was with some questions about "rules" to gather information from a guy's perspective. When one person develops an attraction and feels a connection, it is uncomfortable if that feeling is not mutual. The awkwardness of either situation is unpleasant, but searching for "rules" to deal with either side of that coin doesn't help much.

So putting do's and don'ts aside, how do you apply common sense in these cases?

When I have found myself with a guy who I sensed really liked me but to whom I had no physical attraction, I have hung in there, hoping the chemistry would develop over time. When the chemistry is lacking, I have found it difficult to be honest about this, not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings.

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